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Afterschooling and the Quest for Supermom

Supermom Syndrome

There is a piece of me that wants to believe that, if I want it badly enough, I can be Supermom. Not Supermom with perfectly behaved kids and a clean house – I’m not that unrealistic – but Supermom who gets everything she wants done as well as everything she needs done.

This week it often felt like I wasn’t getting much done. But, in some ways a GREAT week! We walked to school all but one day, and I had a lovely time Friday evening and Saturday at the Springboard conference in Boston. Anna came along, and was beautifully behaved – especially so long as I kept her in my wrap carrier. She’s pretty worn out from all the excitement – she slept through the night last night (!), and has been napping for much of today.

Springboard Conference in Boston

I feel that what really happened was that – with all my basic needs met (healthy family, safe environment, food and shelter) and the addition of a few extras (both negative – kids with minor colds, and positive – conference), I got behind in other ways. And then, instead of focusing on how incredibly fortunate I am to have children with only minor illnesses and great opportunities, I fell into Supermommy Syndrome. Focusing on wants and needs that simply are not important.

Do you share my “Why can’t I be Supermom?” problem? How do you fight worries and stress about things that are should not really matter? I’ve got a lot to learn, but I find that and focusing on all I have – especially moments like this – can help:

Sleepy baby

How do you stay focused on what REALLY matters?

As far as I can remember, we didn’t do any structured learning for afterschooling this week, but here are two activities I loved from last week’s linky:

afterschool linky

Cohosted by:

Just Playing Around

Little Wonders’ Days

Mama Smiles

Mouse Grows, Mouse Learns

The Educators’ Spin On It

What Do We Do All Day?

The Afterschool Blog Hop is a place to share learning that happens in your home outside of school. What did you learn this week?

MaryAnne is a craft loving educator, musician, photographer, and writer who lives in Silicon Valley with her husband Mike and their four children.

19 thoughts on “Afterschooling and the Quest for Supermom”

  1. Eryn @ Creative Parents

    I think we all want the best for our children and with that desire to to everything we can for them, we sometimes set our expectations way to high and get disappointed that we can’t do it all. It seems to be a cycle, with that stress and disappointment of not doing it all, we actually achieve less.

    Some good advice that I was given to me, was that we are always doing our best at that present moment (we maybe tired or stressed out but we are still doing the best we can) and to treat ourselves kindly – they way we would treat a friend who is upset that she isn’t getting everything she wants done. We wouldn’t tell a friend that she should be able to do more and pull your socks up and get it done. We would be supportive and point out all the positive, great things she has accomplished. This positive encouragement helps us to feel good, when we feel good, we get more done and feel better about ourselves. Its important to pay attention to our self talk and make sure we our own personal cheerleaders, not debbie downers. It’s easier said than done, but with practice it becomes easier and more natural.

  2. Two Chicks and a Hen

    Good for you, getting out to a conference so soon after giving birth! I used to have the same Supermom problem. I always felt like that’s what I was aiming for, thought not in those terms. I finally realized, this summer, that it’s a pipe dream. Once I acknowledged to myself that I was behaving this way and that it was ridiculous, it was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.

    1. I find this is a lesson I have to remind myself of, over and over… I think I read a beautiful piece by you on the same topic, a while ago?

      The conference was very relaxing – it was a small group of very nice people, and I spent an entire day not cleaning or cooking and only worrying about the baby! Catching up the following week on everything that didn’t happen while I was gone was a different story…

  3. I know I haven’t been getting to pop over here much lately but I just had to come steal a glance at that beautiful baby girl! What a darling photo and a great thing to focus on and remind you of the important things. We do not need to be Supermom but we are all super moms :)

  4. I’m slowly learning to let go of things when life seems to get to be overwhelming (mainly when I’m trying to be Super Mom). It’s hard to learn (for me anyways).

  5. Interesting question. I got better now with this, I hope, but it’s also because Anna is older and more independent. I simply accepted that I cannot be a supermom without losing my sanity, and having a sane Mom is more important than having a Supermom :)

  6. I don’t know how to be a supermom…I have decided that I don’t need to be…I just need to be the best that I can be..and that is good enough! Now to figure out how to be the best that I can be….that’s a whole new problem! :)

  7. I struggle with this too. I read somewhere that instead of writing down everything you think you should be doing, you should write down everything you accomplish that day. Sometimes we forget about all of the stuff we somehow managed to get done!

  8. Great post – I can definitely relate to that feeling. I always feel so far behind in everything that I want to get done. You are right – focusing on the perfect moments helps, but sometimes I find it hard to really be in those perfect moments. I spend too much time thinking ahead to what I feel like I should be doing when I should be more focused on what I am doing and enjoying that.

  9. LOVE your ‘focus on what really matters’ photo. Ahhhhh….

    I’ve been trying to focus more offline than on lately, and that has been liberating for me. Although they’re really just expectations I’ve set for myself, I feel like I’m on a bit of a treadmill trying to keep up in the online world. Toying with the idea of an unplugged October (with the exception of Instagram, perhaps.)

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